On 3rd of January, when all offices have their first opening in Year 2007, I gave up the chance to go swimming with Hardo Gang just to aplly my admission to UTAR, taking Bachelor of Actuarial Science(Honours).

And today, 5th of January, I checked on UTAR website for my admission, I am offered a place...but I did not feel much happy, doubting honestly am I really happy to go UTAR. Actually I really don't wish to go UTAR, I want to experience the life in oversea....yet, to do twinning for actuarial science, I can only go US and my only choice is to go Inti College if I really want to go out of the country....

Back to quite a few days ago, my aunt's family came and I told them about my choice to study either Nutrition or Actuarial Science. My uncle suggested me to study in UTAR so the next day my aunt's family and my family went to UTAR straight away to ask for further information...I was quite doubtful with their quality in actuarial science and till now I am still doubtful with their quality. Since it is a new course in UTAR I don't think their standard will go any further. But after looking at the course fees, my parents were quite demanding that I will have to go UTAR. since that time, I knew that my chance to go oversea will be very very low...I was crying for few days...sounds stupid, right?

But in the same time I have to be a filial daughter, I have to be considerate, to let them enjoy their life in the coming years, not to suffer by taking loan to pay my fees and living cost in oversea, I made a last minute decision, the few days before actuarial science in UTAR starts classes, to apply to UTAR, with my heart doubting is my decision my choice?Is my decision my wish?Is my decision go right? Actually there are boons and banes either I choose UTAR or Inti.

UTAR:
Advantages:
1. I get to get a car.
2. I get to learn yoga.
3. The fees there is VERY cheap. (No offence to poor family)
4. I get to buy a lot of things.
5. I don't have to pay loan after I graduate from my degree.
6. My parents will not have to live a harder life to pay loan for me.
7. My parents will not have to worry for me.

Disadvantages:
1. I can't go oversea.
2. I will study a lower quality course.
3. I can't fulfill my dream to go oversea.
4. Maybe I have to go Kampar to continue my studies since the new camous is in Kampar.


Inti College:
Advantages:
1. I can fulfill my dream.
2. I can take a good quality course.

Disadvantages:
1. I have to get loan and pay back after I come out for work.
2. I still have to walk to and back from college for around 2 years since I will not have a car.


Obviously study in UTAR carries more benefits yet I don't like UTAR, ok, for no reason, or I should say I have less chance to brush up my English(again, no offence to UTAR students, I know there are still people who speak English). It is not a good reason but I still don't like UTAR(sorry UTAR, you are not attracting me, I prefer a better quality course, I am a perfectionist).

Yet, I am not able to fulfil my dream now, I am offered a place in UTAR now, what a pity this will be my second regret.Hope this doesn't take me a long time to recover from my pain.I have to tell myself: STOP CRYING PLEASE. CRY WILL GIVE YOU NOTHING. STUDYING IN UTAR IS BETTER THAN NOT GETTING A CHANCE TO STUDY. AT LEAST YOU HAVE A CAR. YOU HAVE TO BE NUMB WITH THIS.

~..~Jess^Dear~..~