Should I be prepared to be hurt?
Or should I be prepared to face a challenge?

I'not sure whether I made a mistake, for that I made the decision too fast.
If I choose to give up or shut down the whole thing right now, it's unfair to him. Furthermore, if I really want to do so, I might just not consider to start it.
Yah, when the things don't happen, I can really think rationally but not when the incident is really happening. I was not stable with my decision made initially.Yah, I should say I am a very shaky person. Even more I doubt that would this relationship be a shaky one. How long will it last?

Always hoping to carry on a relationship that is going to last till the end of my life or else in future I will not consider anything in love.Yet, think again, will this really going to happen?Are you really going to just not get involved in any relationship again?No one knows and less than 1% of the friends around will believe. I should say that I'm very childish and also very stupid in managing my relationship.

Should I really hold on the principle as what others say?The principle that is suitable for my age, just go on with the relationship and bear with it as anything happen in the same time not thinking about marriage or relationship for marriage.

It may be a harsh way to go if this relationship is going to be carried on to the end of our life. Things change all the time especially in this long period of time, especially after facing a lot of obstacles and people in the future, who knows that 1 day both of us might just fall for another person, this is how I was told. Recalling back, why I never asked for such opinion before 16 of Feb?

Now what I can do is to put hopes but not too much hope, think positively but not thinking that it is a reality, believe in it but believe in it too much. Arghh, I'm just like being hanged in the middle, unable to die either unable to get freedom.Arghh, who asks me to take this decision?So I have to bear with the consequences.

Yet, still, I need prayings and wished from all, thanks!

Tomorrow will be the one month anniversary for Ben and me.

Well, seriously, I was thinking too much, worrying that Ben's love towards me will not last long, really, I thought too much. Yet, I just couldn't help myself not to think so much due to my previous relationship and the number of girlfriends he had in the past.

Praying hard for:
*Last long relationship with Ben
*Getting good results in every exam and tests

Hahahaha, so glad that I have finished modifying my blog after 3 days.

When you want to right click, "Jeslene's Copyright" approaches you.
That's because most of the things inside there is from me myself, mentioning on the background with Jay inside and also my personally created logo.

Now I have the mood to study already :p

Shall ya give an applause to me?

For that I have just cut a new hair

A bit of punk

A bit of girlish

A bit of messy

A bit of not-so-me

Hehe, just to shout that I have just cut a new hairstyle, a bit expensive but I like it a lot.

In the future you gonna see me in waxed hair...haha

Please don't be stingy to give your comment~!

~..~Jess^Dear~..~

16 of Feb 2007, a seed was planted-The seed of relationship between Benjamin Choo and Jeslene Tan.Jess prayed for the relationship to grow stronger and stronger and also last long forever.

Today, 3 of March 2007, 15 days passed.The plant is growing stronger now, after passing through some harsh weather-accident and Jess's bad mood. Ben motivated Jess when she needed it and left her alone when she was bad mood, just the way Jess wanted her man to treat her. Jess still worries about how long will this seed grow, yet in the same time putting high hope that it will live and grow forever.

Jess wishes to be at Ben's side everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. However she understands that there needs a space for each other, she controls herself.

Jess appreciates Ben a lot, for his caring, his love and all.

As the seed is growing stronger and stronger, Jess again hope for the seed to grow for more than 100 years, 36500 days and in the same time, wishing for wishes from all angels from her side.

Oh gosh, I stil forget to post a blog for my tag from Joe.

Yet I still don't know what to write.

Well, a bad week for me.Cried twice in a week.Is it true like what Chandran's friend said, my bad luck will follow me until my 19th birthday is over??

First of all, take a look at my lovely Toyota








What happen to it?Yah, U're right, it is spoilt.

Stupid damn Renault SCENIC that was drove by an Indian worker, named Vinayagan A/L Kannan, who worked in Renault Service Centre, knocked on my car when his car approached from the back when I was at corner of the road.





Renault Service Centre which is located at Jalan 13/2, Petaling Jaya. A worker from there spoilt my car and he is free neither for punishment nor fine and saman.

At this road u can see, I was at the back of the Wira shown.

My lamp,bumper and mudguard, all are spoilt.All thanks to the stupid fella and very much to his Indian heads who tried to overturn the whole story.

End up resulting in not getting to saman them and claimed Renault's insurance to repair my car.





Now look at the car's condition, Perfectly fine, like no scratch, right?



I was the one girl, there are at least 3 of them working together to cover the problem.How smart they were to polish and wash the car straight away after the accident and then came out to have a discussion with me after 20 minutes. Yah, Renault did a great job.

What was the bad thing next? I got a saman which stated that I made a double parking, haha, which was perfectly out of the story.

Still want to know how good Renault overturned the story?Vinayagan mentioned that I revered the car.After I explained, he said I parked my car there...hahaha...fuuny enough!

Well, luckily I met Chandran when I went back to UTAR to search for the unknown guard as witness. He was like calling the whole bunch of people who are able to deal with police to help me. Thanks a lot Chandran for helping me so much to cancel my saman and waited for whole day long until my trouble solved. For this, I should thank God for sending me an angel.Thanks a lot also to those who supported me, my father, my mother, Chandran's friends who helped me and Benjamin.

Renault, I will remember you forever, and that 3 fellas who overturned the story, you will be in the bottom of my heart. You will get back the reward for being so'SMART', not from me, but from God. Watch and see.

Not forgetting about the bad week, I still have other 2 unlucky things happen on me:

1. I was unable to complete my programming assessment.First of all, the compuetr I used was hangged, even a SHUT DOWN took me a tens of minutes.After that I couldn't find out what the problem of my programming that gave me no output.
2. Well, this one is slightly small matter. My handphone, just brought 2 months ago, dropped on the land in KTM, that left some scars to my handphone.It was then throwned on the floor by the baby in the same day.

~..~Jess^Dear~..~

My dear and I

Feb 13- I was chatting with WinShi, telling her my current life, mentioning on Benjamin sometimes.She bet that he will give me a rose on the next day, on Valentine's Day itself.I said her betting will not come true, instead he will be attending a party with his friends.

Feb 14-Benjamin was nominated as the AJK of Actuarial Science Society. I can still his welcome speech-"Hi, I am Benjamin from bla bla bla. I am single and Happy Valentine's Day". Of course you will be nominated because of this.Yet, he didn't give me any rose as predicted.I was emotional that day. Because of him?Or because my mood changes like a weather??I still doubt.

Feb 16-A naughty gang with me, we skipped some classes and went to Mid Valley.Thought that maybe we would be able to get some new year clothes again. Watched Ghost Rider at5pm, it was the second movie for Ben and me together, well this time was with other classmates and 2 other new friends we met that day. I was playing in Mid Valley with Fanny, that stupid and playful girl, haha, but luckily Ben protected me. On the way back home, in KTM, we were hugging each other, so tightly.That's the moment when I feel that we really have started our relationship.

Feb 17-Chinese New Year is near the corner, yah, the next day. I thought that we will not be meeting for 5 days since there will be some days for us off campus.

Feb 18- My dear was playing mahjong when I was having fun with sisters in Genting. His cousin smsed me, Our relationship was still yet to be told to all.

Feb 19- I was actually follwing the trip to AFamosa Resort. Nicole worried that I will be bored there thus suggested me call along a person as my pair.In the same time, everyone is able to reduce budget.Haha. The first one came into my mind was Ben. After thinking about the amount we need, he was grateful to follow us.Haha, my first trip with Ben!!!

Feb 21- Yes, the day had reached! How will the trip be? In the morning I was still not used to call him my boyfriend when my brother's friend asked about it. Straight away I said "NO" when his question approached me. Yet, I thought again, will Ben be hurted when I said so? Ok, it's ok to tell Mac and others of my brother's friends that we are together. They are too mature to spread this news to the world. The friends gave him all sort kind of names, William, gave the worst name-Wan Tan Mee, just becaused he took Wan Tan Mee as breakfast that day. Well, and the scar on his hand gave everyone a topic to joke about. I'm glad that his first kiss was belonged to me. A great trip for both of us even thought the exact trip was not really that interesting excluding the night in Cowboy Town. That night, we shared a bed for that there were insufficient beds.

Feb 22-We rent 4 bicycles to cycle around AFamosa Resort. He is a good sportman like Luke, cyled damn fast! The day itself we went to the Historical Town, AFamosa, had the special Chicken Rice Ball.

Feb 23- The campus started again. Ben made a breakfast for me, so swwet of him.How he knew that I had not had my breakfast??Then,the account lecture was on for 1 hour then we contacted Fanny and Emily to have a tea outside. Unfortunately, the plan was changed to Sunday. We went to Subang, Kavi, Joe, Wun, Anne, our favourite spot--As You Like It to have lunch. I had Sweet Sour Rice while he had Joe's favourite, Tom Yam Fried Rice. We spent 3 hours there to eat and read comics...Haha, so paiseh. I even get a saman.OMG, Chinese New Year also want to give me saman.Well, whatever, I am not paying it :p. The date with him ended with a GoodBye Kiss.

Thanks a lot guys for your wished for Ben and me. Hope we will stay together forever and ever.

~..~Jess^Dear~..~

1st day of Chinese New Year, I didn't have a great sleep, I slept for only 3.5 hours.early morning at 6.30am, I was woken up by my sister, telling me that my handphone actually vibrated till it dropped on the floor, aiyar, what lar, my lovely phone.Yet, I never heard my phone ringing, ohh...too tired I guess.

Tired, extremely tired and extremely sleepy, I slept for another 1 hour.

At 8am, we started our journey all the way up to Genting Highland without my mom following.She was too tired and decided to stay in the house.

So, compare to the year passed, today Genting Highland Outdoor Themepark wasn't crowded with people, it did not take us long to queue for a game. Further more, Pirate Ship is already opened!Quite fun to play that game lar. Yet, what was the reason that I m not excited??Because of my outfits?Or I am not crowded by friends like hardos last holiday??

Oh yes, before I forget. We actually saw some show from this fella down here, giving out ancient coins to send lucks out to people who gets it.

THis fella was playful, it wanted to scare my sister.

Well, not too late, around 3pm.We decided to go back down.On the way, we saw a temple and went for a visit there. Haha, policemen there were friendly and fun. AS soon as we went in, they greeted us "Gong Xi Fa Cai", which then my sister replied:"Gong Xi Fa Cai, Hong Bao Na Lai"(means Gong Xi Fa Cai and give me angpau). Oh yah, do you know that policemen there were using vissel??My father got my sister one she did blow it whenver she saw a cop, that was really funny and a little small part of it, embrassing yet erm...quite nak kena belasah....haha.

254 stairs in a 9 floors building. Stairs in the building shown below.

Can you believe that I actually crawled up this building???(Again, 254 steps.Yah, I really counted it when I came down).Anyone wants to give me an applause?

We went to another side, it's like guiding you a journey to the hell.They show u how guilty people are punished in the hell.Sorry if this has offenced Non-Buddhists. Yet, it has really warned me not to do bad things in my entire life, erm...oklar, try my best to avoid.

Journey to Enlightenment, there the place is.

See how this people is being hooked. He is actually surrounded with blood on his hands, feet and neck.

People who are not filial are punished in this way, they are buried in the blood.

This is the one who killed someone in his life. Now he has to pay back by being hooked at the heart.Ouch, imagine how painful it is.

And this person, he is being kemek by a big stone, as big as his size.

There are actually a lot more scenes they showed but my sisters think that it is very discussing to show. So I think this will be enough to give me warning.

And at last. Say Hello to tortoise(Chien, Cannie and Jia Yi, kakaka).It has itself inverted. I don't know how it managed to turn itself over again. Maybe someone helped its way.

Happy Chinese New Year to tortoise and everyone. :p

~..~Jess^Dear~..~

It is a brand new Week 6 for UTAR, erm quite happy right here, especially with the friends here, Emily, Benjamin, Fanny, Sze Chyin, Darren and Gideon(who insist us to pronounce his name as "Gideon" , not "G-deon"as in Malay pronounciation, haha.Imagine pronouncing Gigi as "Gigi", the pronouciation of teeth in Malay). Sorry for being insulting! :p( Still don't understand how Benjamin able to put all those emoticons symbols in his sms, how he can make them so well???)

5 weeks gone and can you imagine we already had 3 quizes??And I barely do well in those quizes.Sigh, haveto really work very very hard start from this second(hope I do not make just an empty promise)

Oh ya, talking about week6, Chinese New Year is near the corner. I hung out all day long, 5 days a week, went shopping, watched movie and lots kind of things. A grand Chinese New Year for me, this year I am having 7 clothes, a jeans pants and a hardo skirt(gonna show everyone soon). Does anyone else have clothes greater than I do?

Restricted to write what I want to write because someone is sitting beside me :p, so tell hardos more about me next time.

Kavivi, all the est to yor coming driving test, I'm sure you can make it. If not all of us will hamburger you, ok?

Happy Orientation Week and Happy Chinese New Year for you guys

~..~Jess^Dear~..~

Back again after 2 to 3 weeks of not visiting my hardo blog.

Ok, it's the time to report again my current life, especially my campus life.

Being with Emily and Fanny is quite fun after all. And I am getting so much closer to Sze Qyrin. Yet, still, I am not familiar with the new environment, I think everyone does, for me, life is now so much different with English Oriented environment, more Chinese and the most important thing, life without HARDO G16.

Have to tell everyone a story right now. On the second week, there was one day I followed Sze Qyrin up to the photostating area to make some copies for new notes. There, I met my new classrep. And also, a guy who looks quite kiddy, a cute guy he is. On the day itself I knew 2 more new friends, Joyce and Benjamin Choo Kok Leong. Guess what?Benjamin stays in Kepong, and since I am driving to Uni, so why don't I grab this golden chance to reduce my monthly capital(somehow a bit get used to Business Accounting already :p).

Class ended and Benjamin and I went home together. What a surprise is that Benjamin stays very very super hardo near to my house, even just 1Km from my house. By the time I reached:

Me: Erm, is your sister studying in St. Mary?Is your cousin Choo Yie Lyn?
Ben: Yah, why?You know them?
Me: Oh, then you are Choo's cousin. I am from St Mary too. Your sister and I were in the same school bus. Erm, but I forget your sister's name already.
Ben: Regina.
Me: Oh, yah yah, Regina.
Headed to KTM Station we then, to pick his bicycle.

My mom was doubtful that we might be couple so stopped me from fetching him anymore.
Well, they were right, as time passes, we get much more closer, even friends around us claim that we are couple. I myself did not make any response to it, neither nor he. We still stay close as the way we are, tickling each other, playing with each other, teasing each other. Even at night, when we both were unable to finish up tutorial homework, we stayed up together in KFC Restaurant. Does he really like me?Do I like him?These questions went through my minds endless times which at first I thought the friends around were just trying to make some jokes about us.Even more, his friends on public holiday when we went out together were so excited fooling us.

Endless hardo story, to be continued...

~..~Jess^Dear~..~